I don't know if you're reading this, but I just needed somewhere to get this out. I haven't yet, and that surprises me. But i've decided it's time to stop hiding. I need to let the truth out somehow.
Let's start with why i wanted to leave in the first place. I felt as though you were holding me back. Whenever i'd try to be myself, i would be stifled. I felt like the walls were closing in and i was suffocating. I felt like i was being overly smothered. Maybe that was a defense mechanism, i don't know. But, nevertheless, i carefully weighed the possibilities. I thought and thought and i concluded that we weren't going to work out the way we'd once hoped.
I offered to try again after you got back home from school, thinking you would be gone for 3 months, which ended up being one week. Having no time to think and explore myself, I was thrown into a state of panic, and again, suffocation. Although that ended a few months later, with us.
We talked for a while, and decided that we weren't right for each other anymore. I was fine with that, and so were you. We ended things happily, and I was honestly relieved. But believe me, I tried. It just didn't work.
But now, knowing about what you did after this really frustrates me. Or at least it did when i initially found out about it. I'm sorry, but lying to my sister crosses a pretty big line with me. I don't know why you're so oblivious to the fact that i don't want to be friends with you. I thought i did, but then all this happened, and you ruined it. If i wanted to talk to you, i would have made the effort to already. Trust me.
I guess that's all i wanted to say. Like i said, i don't know if you'll ever read this, but there's nothing either of us can do about anything now.
