10 Days in October

So um...you guys. I was in a movie. Well, i still am, but more on that later.

So filming was in Damascus. A small town near Clackamas. At our producer's house and surrounding areas. Got there Thursday night. We were to shoot the following morning. We got up early-ish, and headed to our first location. We had a lot of troubles with the sun and it's pesky hiding behind clouds every five damn seconds. And also a metric buttload of dump trucks drove by, and there was an accident just up the road, and on top of that, the footage we shot that morning was all overexposed. We were able to make it decent, but...decent isn't good enough. So, we decided to shoot those scenes at a later date.

There were alot of scenes we had to reshoot. Due to many circumstances. But, that's how the film process works, i suppose.

One of those circumstances: We have in our employ Adrienne King, star of a few of the Friday the 13th movies. Her being a SAG actor, we have to follow certain guidelines, file paperwork, etc. So the scenes with her in them, as the principal of our school, had to be rescheduled.

Anyway, other than that, filming went down excellently. One of our DPs said that it's the best footage he's ever shot camera-wise, and everyone is doing amazing performances. On occasion, people tearing up and the like.

On the other side of the spectrum, my character, being the comic relief, had some important work to do as well. Or important to me, anyway. One scene called for me to riff on one of my lines, and when that was finished, people released their theretofore held-in laughter. I'll be completely honest/arrogant: people were howling. Me in my modesty, burshed it off with a "really?" and kept on moving.

Other than filming, everything whatsoever was amazing. There was not one person i didn't like, with one exception. Dorothy, our cooking lady. She cooked AMAZING food, but she was very difficult. She didn't understand how important it was to NOT BE COOKING AND MAKING NOISEY NOISE while we were filming. Also, when it was time to eat, she was a crazy kitchen Nazi. You can't serve yourself, and when you politely notify her that your portion is suitable, she insists on piling more onto your plate. Really good food, but yeah. None of that. And she was canned. And replaced! By someone who just set food out and prepared it before she came. Very cool thing to do. I called her "set mom".

On one of the days, we went on a little adventure. Walked around, went to the school near where we were staying. Played/swung. Walked forever. Then finally came back.

We watched alot of movies, played alot of Mario Kart Wii, slept...yeah. I think my momentum just ran out. My mind is blanking.  Well...uh...sorry.

 Well, it was a glorious ten days. One of if not the best experiences of my life. I met some beautiful people, shared some amazing times, heard awesome stories, flung some knives/axes at trees...wait, let me tell you that story real quick.

It was lunch one afternoon, and a couple of people were being taught by our director how to throw knives. Just for funsies. I was an observer for the most part, and then near the end of this endeavor, i decided to try it. The first knife i threw, let me repeat, first knife, stuck in the tree. I was so satisfied. Clearly the most badass thing i've EVER done. And then i ate a sandwich or something.

So yeah...that happened. It was a time of nuttin, never Denny's, broccoli runs, snorting Altoids, skanky skanks, sexy sex, and just about everything under the sun. That is, until the sun gets covered by clouds.





 

I'm Always in This Twilight

At the end of a harmless, fun Saturday night, i can safely say now that it was the most satisfying one i've had in such a long time. So many things got covered and my life got made so much simpler, many events and feelings culminated and now i feel incredible, relaxed.

I don't feel quite lost anymore. The feeling that i thought i had, i realized doesn't exist, and that i was just freaking out about nothing. You see, sometimes your mind plays awful tricks on you, and you just need something small to see past it. I'm so glad that happened tonight.

I had a long conversation with my best friend in the whole world tonight. That also helped. We just went over what we thought of our friends and the choices they've made, and how it affects me mostly, and i just...don't want to be them. I really don't. It was so nice to have someone there with a level head for me to talk to. Not just someone who'll get all defensive and try to convince me that i'm wrong. It was so nice to just get it all out. It really was. And all thought there are still some tthings i don't think i'll be able to tell anyone, i'm real glad i did what i could. Honestly, sometimes i love my friends more than myself.

Let Me See You Do the Tightrope

Uh...here

That's my update on thi9ngs, if you didn't see it already. Well bye.

There's taco salad for dinner.

Dear God, Sorry to Disturb You, But...

...I pray we can make it better down here.

Alot has been on my mind for the past few weeks, or days, or something. And it's been a while, so...here you go.

As you may know, i've been working "for" Safeway for the past 6 weeks. Well, not working for them, but for this program through the Oregon Blindface Commission. I mean, Oregon Commission for the Blind. And the program ended this weekend. Thus, no more job for me. However, someone quit i guess, so they're keeping me on. Now i'm going through the entire process of applying, paperwork drug test, et cetera. I can' start working until i take a service class next Monday, but i do get paid for it, and at least i actually have a job.

Also, last night was our first script read for the film. It went...amazingly. Everyone is so talented, and at times i felt inferior, but someone did tell me i was fantastic, so...i don't know. I always think that about myself though. Perhaps i shouldn't. I mean...i'm in a movie dammit.

Last week at some poin, this sort of...rush came over me. Like....everything in my life is slowly falling into place. I mean, This could be the start of something great. Everyone wants to make their own mark on the world, right? Well, i could be doing that. Or at least...purchasing my marker. This is going to sound really corny, and i hate to say that something sounds corny, because that's cliche, and saying something's cliche sounds cliche, but...i just know that this is where my new journey starts.

I'm...on my way to being something. Somebody. I honestly can't wait. I just can't. I can't wait to show people what i can do. Who i am. Inside and out. In about a years' time, well...i don't know what i'll be doing. But my first step will be taken, and i'll be ever-ready to start on my second.

 I'm starting to feel like an adul now. It's scary. But so exciting.

But, as life blesses me with many things, it also takes things away. If only temporarily.

My girlfriend is leaving for college in a few weeks. It seemed like such a long way away a few months ago, but now we're down to weeks. I'm scared, but i know we'll be okay. I'll try to be miserable as little as i can, and try to stay occupied with other things/people. But that'll be a little more difficult than i had hoped.

My best friends are also leaving. But much further than the former. Mississippi. I'll be just...lost. I feel lost right now, and i don't know why.

I've been just...so pissed off at everything lately. No song sounds appealing to me. Don't feel like talking to anyone, really. Not even the ones who would probably help me out. Maybe i need to relax. You know that staring at the ceiling/sky thing i talked about doing a long time ago? Haven't done that. Maybe that's what i'm missing.

I should probably get to sleeping now. I've got some important...nothing to do tomrrow. Great. I have a feeling that's what alot of days are going to be like in the near future.

I need new friends. Or to make better ones out of existing ones.

You Are the Only...Inception...

Friday night...what an eventful one.

I got off work at 6:00 in the evening, and went to a barbecue that my friend was having. We were to have hot dogs and s'mores I was uder the assumptionthat we were having both hamburgers and hot dogs, so i asked for one of each. I totlly should have said not to worry about it when i was told that we weren't having hamburgers and that we could thaw sme meat from the freezer, but everything was happening so fast, and i was tired, so...yeah. Uhh...here's what happened.

We thawe the meat, and we didn't have any buns for such things, so i was fashioned a hamburger...shaped like a hot dog. We called it hamburdog. It tasted excellent. For real. And then s'mores.

The next half of the evening was devoted to seeing Inception. We were going to go at 9:40, so we left for Century Theatres to make that show. Here's the rub(s):

1. There was only a certain amount of room in the vehicle we were taking, so 3 of our 5 had to lay in the back, covered by blankets. It was exhilerating and horrifying at the same time. Being slightly jerked around, my head banging against the back of the truck bed, and as a cruel joke, being drug through the Aloha High School parking lot, equipped with multiple speed bumps. Fun, no?

2. 9:40 was sold out.

So, we had to wait an extra hour for the 10:40. I went with someone to WinCo to buy energy drinks. Success there. I got 2 for about $1.50. And we got back to the theater, sat around and talked for a little bit, then we were let in. 

We saw trailers for The Social Network, aka the facebook movie, which actually looks pretty good. Also, Due Date, Dinner For Schmucks, Red, The Town, u...i forget if there were more. But! Then the film began. And then we got to the halfway point, and i started to have to pee. The feeling escelated throughout the rest of the movie, and when it was finally over, it was all i could think about. The movie was great and all, it really was. But then peed for about 3 miinutes.

So, after that, i did the truck thing on the way back to the friend's house, and then i was taken home. The truck adventures resulted in me having a scrape/bruise on my arm, but it wasn't even a big deal and that was the only problem. But i was tird the next day at work. Oh well. That wasn't that bad either.

I'm glad today is Saturday.

Good Morning Good Morning

I'm trying to make all my new posts song lyrics/titles. Grey's Anatomy style. Haaaa. That makes me not want to.

Well, anyway, in the wake of my uh...life0altering news, I'm receving many congratulations and kind words, and it feels great. Yeah.

I just wanted to update you. Uh...i'm doing alot today, so i just wanted to say hey and bouncezzz. Okay, yeah. See ya.

Inquiring Minds

Walking through the back room at my work today, and i got the urge to check my phone. I do that when i'm back there. So what?

It appears i got a a text from Jason, the guy who is the director/writer of the movie i auditioned for. It told of consideration of expanding my role, and asked if i wanted to meet for coffee tomorrow morning. I accepted, obvs. He asked what part of town i was in, i told him, Hillsboro, and he said he'd email me instead. Well, he did. The emaii stated that i was now up for the role i initially auditioned for. I was invited to the script read in August, and i will. Go. To. That. Shit. No joke.

So, as you could imagine, I was freaking out the whole rest of the day. And i was ectatic, beyond all comprehension. That is, until i had to walk home. You see, our car is...broken. So, it got towed away today, to the car doctor. We'll know the deets tomorow. But i had to take the bus home, and walk about 2 miles home. It was great. And also i had a bag of groceries i bought in order for myself to celebrate my awesomness, and it started to get a hole in the bottom and then i finally got to my street. Which was cool, except the sun was right in my face. I couldn't see anything, and i was sweating like cah-ray-zee. But then i got home.

Yep. There that is. Mm...bye.

I Know Exactly Why I Walk and Talk Like a Machine

Hola, chldren. How are you? Good? I don't care. Let's get to it.

Sunday went off with little to no hitches. I arrived at the Shilo Inn around 2 o'clock, and waited afor about an hour. They brought us in, talked to us for about 10 minutes, and sent us back out.

The plan was to have the actors necessary to try their scene in front of camera, then swap one the actors out for another, for checking on chemistry, blah blah.

Both the scenes i was in felt good.I had energy, i thought i conveyed it well. Then i was brought in individually. I didn't get the role i auditioned for. But i do have a supporting role in the film, and i am in 3 or 4 scenes.

So, there that is. Bye.

I Began to Smile and I Said "Oh, You Should've Seen Me a Couple of Years Ago"

Alrighty, well, now that you're caught up on my life, and my emotions at the moment, i thought it would be fitting to...keep doing that...

So, today was (emphasis on DAY)...well, i don't even remember. Only a couple things. We all got free salads at lunch, so...win there. But other than that, today was kind of a fail day. Work-related i mean. I kept getting told by one person in particular how to do things, like i didn't know already. I mean, i know she means well, but let me just do it y way, and see what happens, and then you can correct me. Seriously.

Also,i hate to feel this way, but i feel like half of the people there don't like me. As in, i'm not getting a comfortable vibe from them at all. It could be my rookie-ness, maybe i come off or came off as a dick to them, i'm not sure. I do hope it turns around though. The people i feel comfortable with are really nice though.

Following work, i had some time with my girlfriend, which has not happened in only god knows how long. Went to Taco Bell for dinner, and just basically hung out for a while. It was perfect, and very long overdue, and very much needed. Then, i came home, plopped myself down on this dining table chair, and began typing. I am currentl hungry as fffuuuu- and Snowball won't shut his goddamn trap.

Tomorrow should be...rather interesting. Let me give you a little backstory.

Okay, a few months ago, my mother saw on OregonLive.com that there was to be an audition for a film in Portland. She told me about it, i looked into it, and decided to give my best shot. We both sat there for hours waiting for my numbe to be called, and when it finally was, i said my lines, twice, then exited. I was extremely pessimistic about the whole thing. Until i recieved an email a few weeks later from the director of the film. It said that i made it to callback auditions, and that i was in the top 3 for my role.

So, tomorrow, i mustreturn to the hallowed ground that is the Shilo Inn, and read my new lines in front of a camera, etc. I'm a tiny bit nervous, but you know...i'll do my damndest to get that part, and if i don't, i'll have a great experience trying.

I can't wait. Wish me luck, why don't you?

Swinging for Mars

So...it's over.

No longer will you hear about my schooling exploits. No longer will you read of my academic turmoil and woe. You probably cared as much as it seemed that i did. But it's all over now. My high school career ended today. But it ended just like any other normal day. It just...happened. There were no words spoken of it, no applause, no bands playing, not even in my own head. It just happened.

So how do i feel?

I'm not too entirely sure to be honest. I'm not even sure it will hit me at any point. I have no reasonable explanation why, but i sort of feel numb to the whole thing. I'm not even thinking about it. Honestly i'd love to know why, but i just don't feel anything. Do i not feel i earned it? Will it finally come over me like a wave when i finally get my diploma? I mean, i know this is important, and it is a very big deal, Maybe i need time to think about it. Time to myself. I need to lay down, stare up at the celing and decipher this. Process it. I'm not sure when it's going to happen, but i bet it will be soon. I need to do that. For alot of things.

I've finally triumphed over arguably the hardest year of my life. I've had so many setbacks and struggles this year, and they've all come to a halt. Now i can go be free. I...can't believe it.

And, for a while now, I've had a much different attitude about life than i used to. Life just...hands you so much shit. So many problems, that you've just got to go and show it that you aren't afraid of it. I've been more carefree than i've ever been. If i make a mistake, so be it. Everyone does. Life has treated me so awfully, that i just don't care. And i'm not drinking or partying or whatever either, but just...i fon't know. I want to be a kid. A stupid kid. For once. Now that i'm an adult, i realize that. I feel like i've missed out in a way i suppose, so i'm doing what i can now. In the comfort of a few close friends of course.

So, i guess that's it. That's how i've bee feeling for the past...year i guess.

Also, i have no idea what it is, but i feel like something's been missing. For a while now. I mean, i have everything i need right now. I have a job, i don't have to go to school, i have an amazing girlfriend, and for some reason, i'm not as happy as i think i should be. I mean, i've been okay, but i simply feel there's something else i need. And it isn't there. Perhaps my adult-itude is making me think weird things. I'm not entirely sure. Maybe i should write here more often? It might be more therapeudic/cethartic to do it. I don't know, i've always felt better after writing about/crying over things that bother me.

Well, thanks for reading, if you did in fact read it. Feel free to leave comments if you want to talk. Any questions about life, me, my life, whatever, i don't care. Just um...i don't know. But if you want to comment, go ahead.

The River Still Runs

So, being a senior is slowly but certainly taking it's toll on me. Everything is slowly falling on top of me, and crashing down. But, let me tell you, i will be militant in my quest to stop them. I will shoot them down like clay pigeons before they come anywhere near me. I'm excited to.




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